I’m sorry. I have been busy. Some of us have jobs,you know!

 You can’t believe I wrote that title can you?…I know. Neither can I! (Just so you know, it was supposed to be titled: Lessons from un-unemployment…a sequel of sorts.)

I am so back in the rat race. Here are the lessons from my previous engagements:

i. Why I would give anything to work from home again (home has been my office for my last project)

- I had good, homemade lunches.

- I did not have to hustle with what to wear to work. I am missing my denims already.

- I was able to catch up on the TV shows I could have missed the previous evening on my rare visit to your dirty, dusty city centre.

ii. In my role as the one supposed to employ people for the company:

-oral interviews, unless one is being interviewed to be a motivational speaker, are a bunch of rubbish! And this is why: no one ever tells you they don’t know s**t! or that your company should employ them because they are broke. or that they are lazy and they hate to work and if it hadn’t been for their parents they would have been home watching Nigerian movies!

- (and this was told to me by my boss before he told me to take over) Ugandans are such lazy farts! Consider this conversation I had with one of my would-be but never-was employee. She was supposed to show up for an interview at 10:00am. She didn’t so I called her.

Me: Good afternoon. Is this Aida?

Her: Ani? Yes. It’s Aida.

Me: You called me yesterday about working with us.

Her: eh! I was in a lecture.

Me: oh. You should have told me what time was convenient for you when I told you to come for the interview. (We needed some people to work day or night and that is why I was insisting on her convenience.)

 Her: Munange I forgot. Anyway, are there many people?

Me: I’m sorry?

 Her: Are there many people that have applied for the job because me if the competition is high then I won’t come.

Me: (WITF?!) OK. Aida listen. First, never ever call me again. Ok?…secondly, never, ever waste anyone’s time the way you have wasted mine today. Ok?

-Again, oral interviews do not help much. Show me (rather than tell me) what you know, and then I will consider employing you.

iii. On finding faith yet again

-It is okay to tell God that you are scared and that even though you have seen Him work in your life you are just scared to believe again. Yes. It is not about Him. It’s about you. Tell Him that age old silly excuse. He already knows it anyway!

-Reach out to your friends. Ask a genuine ‘How are you?’ cos chances are the s**t you are overcoming is the same s**t they are going through.

-most dreams do not come true on their own. you have to fight for them!

Other random lessons:

-walking around in the nude can be very, very,  very therapeutic.  do however,  make sure that there are no kids in the house. they may need an eternity of therapy to erase what you may have exposed to them!

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and this is what i took with me to my first day at work:

“Now is the time for us to shine. The time when our dreams are within reach and possibilities vast. Now is the time for all of us to become the people we’ve always dreamed of being. This is your world. You are here. You matter. And the world is waiting.”   One Tree Hill Season 5